How to get through Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate our wonderful mothers – but it can also be a source of pain for the women who long to be mothers but can’t.

Around one in six couples in Australia will experience difficulties conceiving for a multitude of reasons ranging from medical conditions affecting one or both partners, to unexplained infertility. And even women who do manage to get pregnant may not end up becoming a mother because of problems including recurrent miscarriages. Single women and same-sex couples too often have huge barriers to overcome such as who trying to access limited donor sperm and facing high costs just for the joy being called a mum.

For every one of these Mother’s Day can feel like a cruel reminder of everything they most long for. With advertising online and on TV and radio it can be hard to escape the constant reminders about the day, which exacerbate the sense of loss and grief.

Here’s what we suggest may help women struggling with fertility issues get through Mother’s Day.

Acknowledge your feelings are normal

Most women who want children but are struggling to have them, or who’ve had to accept that they’ll remain childless, aren’t going to relish Mother’s Day, other than trying to make it special for their own mother.
It’s important to acknowledge this isn’t going to be an easy day if you’re experiencing fertility issues so recognise that your emotional responses are valid, and be kind to yourself.

Have a plan for the day

Rather than just waking up with a sinking feeling that it’s Mother’s Day and it might make you feel miserable, plan what you’re going to do with yourself beforehand. If you make a plan ahead of time, then you have some control over the day.

Do what YOU want

There may be lots of Mother’s Day-themed events going on, but it’s fine – and normal – to avoid them and do what you’d like to do instead. It can be hard to avoid the Mother’s Day themed brunches and lunches think about just getting out and maybe having a walk.

Give social media a swerve

There’s bound to be countless references to Mother’s Day celebrations on social media, so if you don’t want to see photos of big bouquets of flowers and boxes of chocolates then it’s very easy to steer clear of social platforms. 

You are not alone

You’re not the only one who won’t be enjoying Mother’s Day, so whether it’s getting together with childless friends, or connecting with people in fertility groups, it can help to talk to other women who feel like you do.
Don’t forget if you are finding your journey a bit too tough that we have qualified fertility counsellors who can support you and give advice on coping strategies.  Just call admin on 8155 5333 to make an appointment.